2023 Nanny Goat 100 – DNF Race Report

Short Story = 73.8 miles, time = 19:32:21

Reason for DNF = Mentally quit.

I never really was interested in running the 100-mile distance until I discovered the loop type runs where you basically go round in a loop ranging from a 400-meter track to a few miles in distance. For a slower older trail runner like me it was very appealing, as you did not have to deal with some of the hurdles a traditional 100 miler on the trails present like missing cut off times or running on single track trails in the middle of the night trying not to fall or get lost. As it happened, back in 2018 a local race company managed to have one of these types of runs at no other than Griffith Park in Los Angles which was only 30min from where I live. Most of these types of runs also have timed events going on at the same time where you can go anywhere from 6 hours to 24 hours (some go for up to 6 days or until the last runner is left!) so back in 2018 I tried the Clique Du Griffith Park 12 hour and in 2019 I tried the 24 hours. It was after that 24-hour run (I made it to 70miles) where it got the idea, I could make it all the way to 100 with a little better preparation so I signed up to the do the 100-mile version in 2020……………………. Well, we all know what happed to that idea. This run was cancelled in 2020, 2021 and even in 2022 so it was finally scheduled for April 2023. Early in 2023 I got the sad email that the company that runs this event and a few others in the L.A. area decided to get out of the race game due to the rising cost of doing business so I was left looking for another race I could do that was not too far from my place since I am lazy (even though I run ultramarathons, lol). I like events in driving distance. I found one called the Nanny Goat Ultras which is held on a horse ranch in Riverside during Memorial Day weekend, so I signed up and then started my “training” for it.

Part of the course

Starting in January my training would be to use some longer races as training runs and that started with the Avalon 50k in early January followed by the Surf City, Ventura and finally the O.C Marathons. I wanted to also run the 50k at Leona divide as a last long run, but it was sold out by the time I got around to registering. One thing about the pandemic is that is really messed with my running volume since those 2 years without races led me to just run for fun whenever I wanted. I also worked from home about 70% of the time which led to my running schedule being thrown off since I could now run whenever I found time which is good in one way but for us runners who like routine it put me all over the place in weekly milage. Most weeks my weekly miles were in the 30-to-40-mile range except for race weeks when it would be 50-60. I skipped out on a lot of long runs, trading them for hikes and bike rides a lot of times. I did not seem to take training seriously enough but since I was still able to bust out a few marathons I was not too worried. The time limit at NG100 would be 30 hours which seemed doable since the course was flat. The only big run I skipped was the Ventura Marathon due to the big storm that rolled through 2 days before it and I didn’t want to run in 30-degree weather, so I deferred it to next year.

Before I knew it, it was May already and time to get ready! Another cool thing about these looped races is that you can basically setup a camp on the course so you have your own private aid station so you did not have to worry about finding a crew or need drop bags (I would pay the price for not having a crew later though). My camp was simple, a wagon to carry everything, a camp table, chair, ice chest and container to hold all the little things (headlamp, extra music players, sunscreen, lube, blister kit, etc)

Camp Dooshbird

I started getting nervous about 2 weeks out, but I was feeling good and had no major injuries, so I was pretty confident going in even though this was to be my 1^st 100 miler. Also, as a bonus, due to this year’s cooler than normal winter the temperatures were expected to only be in the low 70’s which is pretty good for Riverside this time of year.

I woke up at 4am on race day and drove out to Riverside, which is about a 1-hour trip. I arrived right around dawn and set up camp and then checked out the course. It was a mix of dirt road, some asphalt and a short single-track trail that ran around the ranch. The start/finish line was at a barn that you get to run through that was full of horses. There also were a couple of pigs running loose around the ranch. The one aid station was more like a full-on kitchen with every kind of food and drink an Ultrarunner would want. Soon enough it was 8am and off we went, around and around and around! My plan was to run the first 25 miles and then take a (real) food break every 5 hours. The first few hours were uneventful, there were lots of folks as there was also a 6-, 12- and 24-hour event also going on, so I had plenty of company on this journey. I took my first break at 25 miles where it ate some mashed potatoes I brought and washed my face to wake up. Then I was off to run more laps. By now I knew where the slight inclines were and started to walk those to save my energy. I pretty much kept this up until I got to the 50-mile mark at around 13 hours. So far so good! I felt ok but as we all know in the Ultra world, things change…..

Horses thinking “silly humans”

Wilber

Approaching the 100k (62 mile) mark is where I started to slow way down. It was now nighttime, and I had the headlamp on to guide me. Around the 15-hour mark is where I did not want to eat anymore so I switched to water with tailwind so I could still take a few calories in. Now I was pretty much walking most of the loop and starting to feel very tired as it was the middle of the night and I’ve been doing circles for 16, 17, and then 18 hours. Bad thoughts started entering my head as I approached the 70-mile mark that I could not shake, and I started to think about quitting as I was so tired. My old distance record was 70 miles, so I sucked it up and passed that mark, but it was getting harder for me to go on so at 72 miles I decided to sit down for a minute and rest. That turned out to be my fatal mistake. It was 3am, I’ve been at it for 19 hours and my brain did not want to play anymore. I did the math in my head and knew I could walk the rest of the way and finish before the 30-hour limit but that sounded like the worst thing in the world. I sat there arguing with myself for a good 5 minutes deciding on weather to go on or not. This is where I just needed someone to tell me to keep going but I was by myself, and my brain wimped out and decided it was done. Like a dream I started to pack all my things up on auto pilot and I knew my day was done. Since my camp was on the opposite side of the finish line, I walked one more lap to the timekeeper where I told him I was done. Just like that, I walked back to my camp, took my stuff to my car and by 3:30am was driving home. To wait 3 years to run my first 100 miler and then to just step off the track like that was one of the most disappointing things I have ever done. My body felt fine, I wasn’t sleepy, it was just my mind totally quitting on me that was so devastating. I view myself as a mentally tough person, but I did not have a proper plan for when I hit a low point. I should have had some sort of reminder to keep going because I knew once the sun came up, I would have woken up and got a 2^nd wind. I think next time (yes, next time) I will have something written down to remind me to keep going or force one of my friends to show up just to make sure I don’t quit. As I write this, it is about a month after and I am still pissed if I think about it. For about 10 days after my DNF I was depressed and just stayed home feeling sorry for myself.

So happy at the start

We’ve only just begun….

A lot of friends and co-workers tried to cheer me up my saying 73 miles is still pretty good but that was not the goal and even worse, I could have finished if I did not have that mental breakdown. But that is why the Ultramarathon is so rewarding, because it is never easy, and finishing is never a given. I already know I have to go back and finish what I started because even though I quit that day, I am not a quitter. I will just work on the weaknesses and be smarter and stronger next time.